Are you living your life as a victim or a master of your circumstances?
Someone with a victim mentality believes their circumstances are outside of their control; that others do things “to” them, and that things just happen to them. This feeling of powerlessness leads to an overall sense of defeat, but they may simply see it as a fact: their fate is set and nothing can be done to change it. Why try to do anything when things are outside of their control? It would be a pointless waste of energy, used to achieve nothing.
Someone with a master mentality understands that bad things happen, but they attribute these occurrences to bad luck or simply the regular happenings of life. Primarily, they connect their circumstances to actions they’ve taken and decisions they’ve made, acknowledging the fact that most of their life is in fact within their control. This empowers them to take further responsibility and continue the cycle, since they’ve learned that self-control can be asserted even during times of distress.
Are you taking responsibility for the circumstances in your life? If you’re unsure, consider your reaction when you ask yourself if you think life is unfair, random, or predetermined. If you feel defensive when considering this, you may discover that you’re avoiding taking responsibility for how you’re living your life. The tragedy of holding onto this mentality is that it takes away your freedom and opportunities. You become less mindful, more nihilistic, and increasingly angry, but you’re unaware of the true reason: that you’re no longer in control of your own life; you’re at the mercy of others and the universe itself.
If you feel you may have lost control, and you feel powerless in your own life, take back your power through coaching.